Logic of the Lie

College: Stealing Music, Building Shit, and Acting Like an Idiot

2006-12-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

Hello again.

I'm back.

College is going pretty well. I still don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I am having a proper kind of fun. Proper as in "fun with classes" rather than "fun partying and screwing up". There are a lot of cool things here, like a campus-wide file sharing (aka music pirating) network, a class where we made derby cars, free bread day, everyone snickering at the mention of St. Pats, and living in the neatest dorm on campus.

I'm getting along well with my roommate. She's from Chicago (and lets you know it) and she's really sweet - except for the fact she can't make up her mind. ever. Not even for what to eat for dinner.

Living in our "co-ed" wing has proved perfect. I'm in the only girl's suite, surrounded by boys. I'm a fan of this arrangement - boys are much better to live around than girls - we create too much drama. Also, boys make better stories -they're prone to off the wall antics. Having the dynamic of the passive roomie and crazy hallmates keeps me sane. I get to be more outgoing and crazier than her, but not lose my head like the boys.

My best activity right now is Perfect 10 Improv. No mother, It's not related to my major whatsoever. Sorry. But it is tons of fun. Improv is a base for exercising creativity, keeping up my acting, having friends outside the dorm, and, as the president would say, "general shenannery". Don't check my spelling on that though.

That's something else - my English is blossoming. I will never have to take an English class in college, but I have become a stickler for the proper rules. I even edit my friend's papers for fun. I love it - but not as a career, mind you.

That's all I can think of for now. This bit of personal update should tide you over for a while. Perhaps the creative writing will begin again.

"I'm an engineer!"

facemeltingbook

2006-07-12T20:43:00.000-05:00

Why is Facebook addicting?!? I just joined to say somewhat connected to people that i've loved spending the last four years with and now - BAM! - I can't stop.

HELP!

The New '24'

2006-06-07T19:38:00.000-05:00

If you had only one day to live, what would you do? Would you go around meeting celebreities and traveling to exotic places? Or would you stay at home to enjoy a peaceful day? Rather than accomplishing life goals at a frightening pace, i would would have a day all to myself. Going to a pool, sitting in the sun, getting fancy beverages, drawing on the sidewalk, and especially people-watching would all be on my list. But also, i would try to do something radical for another person - save a life or something. If i'm absolutely not going to be here tomarrow, why waste time doing everything i've ever wished to do? There would be no time to appreciate life or reflect on the day. Life would end too quickly if you maxed out your last day. Just to take the time to appreciate the feeling of being alive would be enough, for me anyway.

What would you do?

Simple Embrace

2006-05-31T18:27:00.000-05:00

Ok. So here it is. The most powerful thing that any person can do for another is give them a good hug. A simple, strong embrace can encapsulate every emotion a person ever needs. In good times: "I did it""I'm proud of you""I am inexplicably happy""congratulations." But more importantly, in the not-so-good times a hug can make everything right: "I missed you""I am so sorry""I understand""I love you." All the feelings that are otherwise difficult to convey verbally can be achieved through the language of a hug. Even if you don't know what to say. And because there are so many meanings, a hug is always correct. A good hug is a full embrace - two people joined together, safe in the hold of the other - that lasts but a moment. And that moment can correct eons of issues the participants may not even comprehend.

One good I-miss-you-everything-will-be-ok-you-are-safe-here-in-this-moment-and-I-will-do-everything-in-my-power-to-alleviate-your-suffering-if-not-but-for-an-instant-you-are-meant-to-be-happy-I-don't-want-to-let-you-go-you-are-mine-and-you-are-loved hug can save a life.

If but an instant...

Phony

2006-05-24T13:29:00.000-05:00

There are three phones on the desk of the Target Portrait Studio of Olathe, Kansas.

The store phone is an off-cream colored device with a slew of buttons. In the right hand corner a inch-by-half-inch light perpetually blinks like a siren. Despite all the options and features, the store phone has no answering machine, and so has been known to perpetually ring as well.

The studio phone is attempts to sever the Target tie. It appears classy and sleek, but has obviously been through a lot. It has black rubber sides and a dark silver body that give an impression of studliness (obviously bought by the overweight, bossy male manager). Closer inspection, however, yields a layer of grime and a faulty speaker.

But the third phone is different. It is plain, simple, and unassuming. No incessant flashing, no fancy answering machine or extensive keypad. Just a plain white shell and a small white base. But one must watch out for the quiet.

The third phone, in all it's majestic solitude, is the most intriguing. Standing ready at post, the phone is not connected. No wires but to an outlet. Never ringing, never beeping, and never calling, the white phone stands. More interestingly, the phone wears a button proclaiming "turbo mode." What would happen when that button is activated? No soul will know because the lone soldier is disconnected.

I think its magic.

Gummy.

2006-05-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

There's an old man sitting diagonally from me at the library computers. He's playing with his lower dentures, moving them around in his mouth like a kid would play with their retainer. When he parts his shriveling lips, I can see his discolored glob of a tongue shifting around the connected row of fake teeth. It looks like his jaw is disconnected - but it isn't really. And he doesn't even realize what he's doing because he is deep in thought copying over his printout onto the computer. The confusion he faces is visible in the shifting and gnawing of those lower teeth. Back and forth. Paper to computer. Teeth in and teeth out.

This is so gross.

Lines Composed a Few Miles South Of Kansas City

2006-05-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you're missing some cruel joke? Like you're gonna wake up in college and realize that your previous years of schooling were nothing like this and you're clueless on how to handle it? Or that you're gonna wake up in a job and realize that the rest of the world doesn't operate like school - there aren't chapters, study guides, or reviews. You have to know everything - like a perpetual test. No teacher is going to help you; no friend can clue you in to the answers. No extra credit assignments or fluff classes to help raise your grade anymore. And the consequence for not turning something in or doing poorly on a test? - They'll just let you go.

I am so scared of college.

Learning Curve

2006-04-17T17:39:00.000-05:00

I share the sentiment. That's exactly what i was about to post about, but couldn't find a way to put it into words without screwing up.

http://www.xanga.com/cortez_the_killer/473188993/this-is-what-ive-learned-this-year.html

Who do you know that isn't whiny?

...seriously...

The Nohari Window

2006-04-12T20:01:00.000-05:00

Try this. (thank you sean)

Seems appropriate for a blog of this title, don't you think?

Summer Dreams

2006-04-12T19:35:00.000-05:00

I absolutely love washing my car. Now I know that may surprise those of you who have seen the sahara-like finish of dirt on my for the past few....however longs. But it is a task I enjoy. Today, I got to wear a swimsuit, tanktop, and shorts and bask in the odious spray of the carwash. The distinctive sweet smell and cool feeling of the water cascading around me is pure joy. Afterward, the sun beat down, evaporating the water off my car and the drudgery of my spirit. Listening to the on-location radio DJs, lovingly drying and polishing off each little spot, I felt free.

Here comes summer.

Untucked Muffin

2006-04-11T19:53:00.000-05:00

I got a detention today.

Not for any unruly action.
Not for contraband in my locker.
Not for excessive tardiness.
Not even for a short skirt and untucked shirt (that I would have deserved).

For eating a mini lemon-poppyseed muffin with icing that my mom made for me this morning.

How pansy is that? I will be wasting several hours of my very valuable and productive time writing a series of random numbers all because of a mini muffin. I'm not even getting in trouble for something I knew was "illegal" but continued to do (uniform violations).

-mini muffins are nothing but trouble-

Why don't we call it "promenade" any more?

2006-04-11T19:02:00.000-05:00

So prom...
I'm not Queen (but i did get the crown and flowers).
I got to dance alot (even if i was by myself).
I have the cutest pictures (i've probably shown them to you already).

I'd say it was overall pretty good, contrary to the belief of some.

I am a princess.

too.much.library.

2006-03-30T16:54:00.000-06:00

Part argumentative essay.
Part personal narrative.
Part research paper.

All messed up.

aka: Why my english essay is one page long

2006-03-29T20:41:00.000-06:00

Why i like the library:
-seclusion
-Laptops
-fun chairs
-awkward homeless people in fun chairs
-Dave
-Thomas Thorpe
-www.xanga.com/Oldsmobileisnumber1

That xanga. ya'know whose it is? of course you don't. but i'm sure it will throughly entertain.

or depress.

[don't take advantage though]
[too much]

Aren't you just proud?

2006-03-29T16:21:00.000-06:00

Congratulations to Sean on his acceptance into Temple University!!!
...and making the misfit dodgeball team
...and for just being really great

The Pood in the Box

2006-03-29T16:11:00.000-06:00

Got my One Act.
Got my One Act Cast.

Can't wait to make James Redler into a mime.

2006-03-23T20:10:00.000-06:00

This blog needs some pictures.
But how...?

From 10 to 5 to1

2006-03-23T18:27:00.000-06:00

so i'm in the top five.
*surprise*
this was never one of my goals. or dreams. or fathomable possibilities.
"you're the odd one out - just like i was" - Becca B., 2006 Homecoming Queen

now if only i was going...

[[edit:] improper use of blog for pointless venting to deaf/nonexistant ears]

but hey,

i'm royalty now, bitches.

But where's the "spring"?

2006-03-16T20:11:00.001-06:00

Spring Break '06

Nominated for Prom Queen.
Figured out college.
Got national merit scholarship.
Earned an enormous paycheck.

...and it's not done yet.

somehow i don't feel proud. or happy. it's just blah.

I need more sunlight.

What cha gonna do with all that junk?

2006-03-15T17:23:00.000-06:00

Things Discovered In Cleaning Out The Trunk Of My Car:
-bright purple jacket
-McDonalds bag
-large plant stand
-fuzzy blue slippers
-several pairs of grandma's fancy dance shoes
-pepband shirt (i have no clue how that got there)
-set of weights
-two pairs of science goggles
-chemistry book (i'm in physics)
-tripod
-bungee cords

I think what you have in your car really says something about your life/person/character. Every bit of junk has a story, even if you can't remember it. Each of those stories is a memory/moment experienced. Those moments make you who you are. Question is, what are you going to do with all that junk, all that junk up in your trunk?

Ta-da!

2006-02-18T18:23:00.000-06:00

So i finally caved in. Look: a blog of my own.
I'll try to update, but no promises...
<3 ya

but i will try to restrain from ridiculous shorthand. whoops, too late.